ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
