I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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