I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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