i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize