my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
