Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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