You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
