yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I just found a bag of teeth...
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
