All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize