WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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