I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize