It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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