I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
