Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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