Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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