Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
