my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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