i was rollin on her like bob the builder
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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