why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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