I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
My vagina just clenched in fear
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