you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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