i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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