Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
