I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
