So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
he had hair everywhere except his balls
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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