Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
