Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
