How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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