I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
