she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
