and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
