tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
