I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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