Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
