I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
