Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
