At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
