Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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