I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
