i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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