i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
