you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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