i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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