Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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