i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
