Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
