Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
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