The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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