he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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