Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Even the bartender felt bad for me
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
