remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
