My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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