And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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