16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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