It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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