I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
