In the future we'll all be gay
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize