why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
