you have to choose: penises or morals?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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