what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
not ubering you a puppy
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
