my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
