I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
