You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
