before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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